Letter From a Broken Heart

Dear once loved,

Do you know why I feel the way that I do? Do you know anything about me anymore? I have wanted you back since the day we broke up. Whatever it took to fix this, I was willing to do. For some reason, though, I can’t do this anymore. I’m too afraid you’re going to find someone better, move on, and leave me hurt once more. Every time I hear your voice I prepare myself for that talk, just like you did when I left you for college. It’s getting harder for me by the day, because I’m still in love with you. Of course I’m going to get jealous. I just feel like lately every time we talk, we don’t actually talk, and my mind gets the best of me. I’ve been so lost on how to handle myself lately. My job for so long was to be the one to make you happy, wipe your tears when you cried, and talk you out of the worst situations. It’s not easy seeing that someone else can now do that better. I just want to hear that sound in your voice again. That tone like you’ve been waiting for me to call all night. I just don’t get that tone anymore, but maybe it’s because of the way I’ve been acting lately. I don’t know how to fix it though, because for so long you were the one I looked to for help. I’m working on it by myself now, and I can’t wait to come home, not just to come home, but to feel your embrace when I step off the train. There’s something about that I just can’t explain. When I have trouble I just think of the sound of your voice or the feel of your hand in mine and I know, somehow, that my heart will stop racing for a moment, and every thing will be alright. I’ve had so much trouble without that being mine anymore. For so long I took every thing for granted, not realizing that when you weren’t there anymore I would be so lost. The funny thing is though, you’re not even gone yet. You’re still here and I feel this way. I’m so scared of what will happen to me when you leave. I want so bad to know where I stand, but no matter how many times I try to tell myself I’ll be strong and that I can relax without you, my heart and mind know that it’s not true. I still love you. I can’t sleep feeling like this. The thought of us being so disconnected rips me apart, but that day seems to be getting closer and closer. No matter where we end up though, know that I love you, and that I’m in love with you, wishing you were still in love with me too.

Forever waiting,

~The broken hearted